Control

Oct 22

 I got a tattoo. It symbolizes a lot for me. Roll the dice. Some things we cannot control. We can only control how we interpret and react.

I have mixed feelings about my tattoo. I went forward with an irreversible action, and immediately after I felt regret. It isn't perfect. It doesn't feel how I wanted it to feel. It's too exposed. It looks childish. 

And yet sometimes, when I look at it, it feels right. It isn't trying to be real. It's a drawing. An interpretation of the idea. And it's right there, at the palm of my hand, ready to roll the dice.

On some level, the fact that I need to let go and stop trying to control my feelings about the tattoo, is liberating. I feel like it's an important lesson in of itself. 

But sometimes I feel like I need that control back. I need to get it removed. I don't want anyone to see it. I'm afraid. 


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