snackable

 I had an interesting thought today. Over my past few relationships, I generally felt like they weren't right for me. I felt this strange flip-flopping between attraction and lack thereof, both appearance-wise and personality-wise. When I was in the relationship, I felt like I needed out. When I was out, I felt like I wanted them more than ever. I always attributed this to the general notion that you want what you can't have. This might be true, but today I had another idea. Maybe I'm just unhappy, and projecting my unhappiness onto the relationship. When I'm in it, I'm unhappy and I believe I need out. When I was out, I was unhappy and suddenly started feeling like I was missing out on previous happiness. I don't think this means I need to go back to relationships I previously deemed not fitting for me. But I think I need to learn to manage my unhappiness. It seems like it would be key to not ruining my next relationship. 

"A person's principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life." So little time in life is devoted to choosing values. You would think something so important would be given more thought. An interesting thought I came across was that we have two sets of values. Our theoretical ones - those we wish we adhered to and pursued at all times - and our practical ones - those we truly live our lives by. To live a truly virtuous life would be to have these two sets of values overlap entirely.  I'm going to try to outline my ideal values at the age of 20.  Self discipline. Empathy.  Excellence. Freedom/Independence. I think those are my top four. 

"The ability to control one's feelings and overcome one's weaknesses; the ability to pursue what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it." Self discipline is interesting to me. I have been consuming a lot of content based around the idea that some things are difficult to do. I find myself surprised some times at the idea of people being lazy, not working towards goals. I find it easy to do things I value, because I truly value them. I don't value comfort as much as others do. I value achieving my goals. I get addicted to the gym because I want to be fit. I want to be attractive, strong, athletic. Somehow this makes the lifting itself very pleasurable as well.  I like working. I find myself wanting to stay later. Not because I want other people to think I'm working. But because I want to make progress. I want to be productive. I want to move forwards and finish things. I value my work.  Some of this is simply because I don't have so many tempt...